I’m so tired (see also: Seebo in general) of people saying that I’m smart and great and funny and wonderful. Sounds like I’m boasting? Well, honestly, I’m not. Because I just don’t see it. I don’t see it at all. And my current diversion at work? Sanatoriums and psychiatry… I’ve diagnosed myself plenty of times. Read a news article today about Special K (the only drug I haven’t done, aside from PCP) curing depression, People allowed in the study had to score at least 18 on the DHDS… I win. I got a 40.
And then one of my great dear dear friends tried to give me a pep talk, bless her. The diatribe about meds and analysis will hold for another time…
I hate my life. Everyone else seems to think I’m so great – the fact that I don’t – self diagnoses and not denied by my [great] analyst – delusions. Oh, but that’s not all – not just “delusions” – they’re “psychotic delusions”. No, I don’t hear voices, it’s a mood disorder, but I have this overwhelming, constant sense of guilt and worthlessness that is not based in actual reality. Actual reality being people responding to me in a positive way. Note to humanity: Google-ing medical problems = not a good idea.
Oh yeah, and I’m drunk, Wishing I had dope, not even dope. Heroin or oxys – so I could [throw up repeatedly] just enjoy smoking and having my eyelids at half mast.
And therefore, there but for the grace of god go I.
Et in arcadia ego.
8 comments:
Seebow make sad post for read. Startes so positive wieh the smarter commenmts and is TRUE! Seabow IS smart and funnies. A witer that is talent, enjoy to read.
Then seabo make trueth and say hat live. Not hate lif for sake of hateing but want cry out help. Is true life hard, make work and struggle.
Hong Fu have answer for moist upslet girl so not despariing!!1
Remove bra and panties, go to plece where feel happiest, say horsey patsure and take photoglaph of self. Or can get freinds to take photograph. But must be nude in happy place and show many skins. Take photos of self and posting to interwebs. Here on own site is fine for seeing. Or send to Hong Fu by email so to see naked beautry.
IS okay! Not bad thing take photos of self nude when done for art and help mind feel better. Not dirty at all!
Hong Fu help SEboo and happy for.
Sincerely,
Hong Fu
PSt Ann also get naked on horstey
(!)
I had nothing to do with it. Did I mention that I like milk?
I'm also a huge liar.
And a fan of Ann ;^)
?
Almost enough to make me miss the anon posters...
seebo, you get a fortune cookie
I added you to my list o' linky action.
See if you can guess which link it is...
what kills me is in response to the post title, this is what one gets. take more love for yourself, Seebo. personally, i think the worlds just too uncaring...
stay away from the oxy and shit. i've watched too many people fall with the opiated dream... i'm outta weed too. darn...
For the record: I have consumed NO DRUGS since January... I thought I was over it (to the extent one can ever be...) -
But thanks pilbox - no, I'm keepin my nose (ha ha) clean... see my next post!
S
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